Little Ginny's Crush
by NoirSonata
Summary: We have witnessed what has happened through Harry's eyes. Let's see what the youngest and only Weasley daughter had seen.


**Summary: **We have read Books One to Six… But, what would you think goes in the mind of the red head that caught Harry Potter's heart? Follow me and let us relive Ginny Weasley's Memory Lane…

**His Sixth Year, my Fifth Year...**

And I was stealing glances from him again. I looked at him. I couldn't help it! I have always wondered...

Was he looking at me? Thinking of me? Missing me? And to complete the series. All of them, maybe yes, maybe no.

I have always known before that his heart belonged to another person. But here I am, every now and then stealing a glimpse, wondering, when will I finally get over him? When? So many things had happened that I felt so frustrated with it all. After all these times...

I was mad at myself that when I use scissors I tend to exaggerate and then it was healing charm to the rescue. I would eventually be used to it. The endless cycle. I go up in the morning heading to the Great Hall. I would see the three of them talking. I would steal a glance only be disappointed that he'd be looking somewhere else. I sighed in defeat again.

I thought back from the start.

**My first year at Hogwarts, his second year at Hogwarts. **

I was so excited. I promised myself that like my brothers Bill and Percy, I'd have high grades. I was so consumed in reading that I stumbled and ensnared myself in that evil book. Tom Riddle's diary. And it talked to me. He said he'd help me. But he didn't. So, I run away from him. I told myself to forget that diary. So, I lingered for a while and decided I'd watch the Quidditch game. I smiled back at the memory. I remember the day Harry played against Slytherin. The first time I ever saw him fly against Slytherin! He was excellent in Quidditch. I could hear "GO POTTER!" in the Gryffindor's side. I smiled but I didn't go along with them. I was afraid I couldn't contain my... feelings, crush on him. How pathetic. Even Tom said it. I scoffed at that and wrote back at him, answering his every tease until I was so annoyed at him that it was as though he had attached himself to me. I couldn't set my quill aside. Until, he took me and held me captive at the Chambers. Harry rescued me. I tell you, he was my knight in shinning armor. But I guess it was the saving-the-world-thing that brought him to me. So, back to the same looking from a distance state again. At some point, he wondered why he didn't like me. I didn't know myself and it drove me nuts. That happened just before the term ended. We talked about it. After that, we never mentioned it to anyone. Maybe he mentioned it to Hermione or maybe Ron but I don't really know. Neither of the two ever teased me about it.

**My Second Year, His Third year. **

All was revealed. Hermione told me all about it and I just, sat there, listening to her. She told me Harry really like someone else and by what she had _seen_ it was Cho. Yeah, you got that right. He likes someone else, Cho Chang, the Ravenclaw Seeker. I sighed in defeat again. Cho Chang. What does she have that I don't have? She was more beautiful, smarter and by far, more popular than me. I couldn't do anything. How pathetic. I would just scurry away from Harry too, every time we talk. Just like what I did when we met at the Leaky Cauldron.

As that term passed, even though all was silent, I was from blissful to miserable. They won the Hogwarts Quidditch Cup that year. Harry even defeated Cho just for the Cup! I was rejuvenated! It meant that maybe there's hope... that his feelings for her might change. I was happy. I was happy for them. I was happy for Harry. I saw him smile and congratulated him. He thanked me and gave me that cute smile of his. He smiled sheepishly. Such a gentleman. Harry Potter has the limelight, the stage. Even though it was the Gryffindor team entirely who won the victory, even they wanted Harry to have the limelight, and all by himself and all he could do was shy away. It would really be amazing really, after the attention he's been having, his feet manage to touch the ground, with no efforts at all, whatsoever. So, when I found out that there was hope, all summer before Third Year, I practiced. Harry was an excellent seeker. That's why I tried to be an excellent seeker too. It was great. But still, I couldn't reach him.

**My Third Year, His Fourth Year. **

Harry was selected as a Hogwarts Champion, so was Cedric. I couldn't really congrats Harry so I congrats Cedric instead. He had been like a brother to me. Always helping. He talked about Cho but I know I should frown by the name Cho. The irony of it was… when he talks about her, it's always positive. Like you can't really hate Cho at all. He's in love. I smiled at my newly found brother last year. I supported him and Harry throughout the tournament. And I felt great about it.

Then, it was Yule Ball. I remembered last year there was hope. But... My happy feelings fell, hope was gone again. Hermione told me he was asking Cho. I pretended to only shrug but deep inside I told myself to be steady and don't be ridiculous because it was just a schoolgirl crush, why would she cry? I told Hermione that it was okay, seeing as Cho was more beautiful, more talented, much more smart, and more popular than me. She scoffed at that. She told me I should be myself and be free to choose someone else so, there. I began to be well... me. And that's when I found out someone actually wanted to be with me. So I said yes. It was great. I totally forgot Harry that entire period. I had an amazing night. But still, the next morning. It all came back. That feeling. I kept reminding myself that I just fancied Harry but was there more? I do not know.

I really wanted to end this feeling for him. I sighed in defeat. He liked someone else. I doubt love but... I guess he might've loved her. Cho Chang had Cedric though. Cedric told me himself. And it tore me to pieces the next morning when I saw him trudge towards the Champions' room where they would meet their parents. I wondered who Harry's visitors might be so I followed him. Shame on me! Well, I watched him enter. I entered the room too; I knew the others wouldn't mind. The officials of the Tournament were busy, the parents were busy attending to their child and the Champions had nerves to nurse. I glanced around and saw Harry; he was looking longingly at something... someone. I followed his gaze and frowned. Cho Chang. And guess what? She's with Cedric. She was wishing him luck. Giving him strength. She was with him together with his father. I saw Harry with mum and Bill but I didn't dare go to them so I backed away. Yep, never wished him luck. And it was the Third Task. I feared for him.

When he appeared again, in the coldest of the nights, I sighed in relief. I heard the others, Harry Potter has returned. We were all worried. The Hogwarts Champions had disappeared, Fleaur Delacour was attacked, and someone had cast an Imperius Curse on Viktor Krum. And no one knew who did it all. Even the Headmaster, Albus Dumbledore. So, we waited. And there I was, standing on tiptoe, wanting to have a look at Harry. What could've happened to Harry and Cedric? I heard they were back. So, I tried to rush forward but Neville tugged back and said, "You wouldn't want to look if I were you." His face... was etched with grieve. "Why?"

And then I heard it. "Oh my god! He's dead!" Death. I began to sob, to cry, and to weep. I wanted to see it for myself, I tried to tiptoe again just to see them being surrounded by the crowd on the field. I remember Nevilles hands held me at that time. He stopped me for even getting closer. Those hands crushed me to his surprisingly strong chest, protecting me from the sight that might've been the death of me. I told him to let me go but he didn't. "I can't," He said. I was angry with him. "Why?"

"I love you. Don't you know that by now?" He said.

Why was he saying he love me? And at this time? "I..." I found my sentence hanging unfinished. I have done Neville no good. I have played with his heart. What have become of me? I know, I cared for him but... No... I looked away from him and stared longingly back at the field. I closed my eyes and I could feel his arms keeping me. I felt safe there for most of the time. But, I felt guilty because... I had used it only for comfort because, I was waiting for Harry. And now...

No! I went down, I tried. But Neville still kept me at bay. "Please, Neville let me go." I sobbed.

"I'm always here." I shivered; he had this strange voice sometimes. But... it gave me a comfort right now. He was there, to support me. And then, after that he let me go.

I rushed past other people and then halted only to find Cedric Diggory lying there, dead. I felt my heart stop. Cedric's dead. Could Harry be dead too? It can't be! I lost a brother, why can't I feel anything? I felt helpless… Why? I wined as I felt a tear fell again but… there was no emotion. Why? I glanced around. I could see Mr. Amos Diggory being comforted by none other that our Headmaster. Cho Chang was beside Cedric's body, crying freely for all the school to see. Viktor Krum had held Hermione as she crying softly, frightened by the sight but at the same time, here eyes wondered, searching. I knew whom she was searching for. As because I was searching for Harry too. It was Harry that made me emotionless. It was he that made my heart froze at the sight of Cedric, not burned to ashes. I was supposed to cry hysterically too! I lost Cedric. But… I can't. Because I did not know whether Harry Potter was still breathing or not. As if finding him is what matters most. But I never found him there. And then I asked Professor McGonagall. She panicked and left me with no answer. The last thing I saw of her was with Professor Dumbeldore and Professor Snape running fast towards the castle. What was to become of Harry?

At the end of their Fourth Year, my Third year, I was relieved. Harry's safe. I was relieved. But, I was torn to pieces. I glanced at him. Dumbledore was making his speech for Cedric. I bowed my head down, I can't stop the tears. I felt guilty. I knew the people presumed it was because I cried for Cedric. They knew Cedric and I was more of like a brother sister act when my real brothers weren't around. But they were wrong. I felt guilty because I was crying for myself. I am so horrible. I cried because I hurt Neville's feelings. I cried because I used Cedric's death as an advantage to cry openly. I have sinned too because the moment I looked at Cedric's cold stare… I couldn't feel anything. I cried because I openly cried when I saw Harry Potter looking at Cho Chang, who was crying too.

What a world. Cho Chang's true Love died. Harry who liked (or even loved) Cho Chang looked at her longingly as if wanting to be beside her but he knew he couldn't. And here I was. Stealing another glance at him. An endless cycle that I am afraid I am never going to cease of doing.

**My Fourth Year, His Fifth year.**

I wrote a letter to Mr. and Mrs. Diggory two days before we were sent away from Hogwarts. I told them I would miss Cedric very much. I would miss another brother. They understood. I told them Harry didn't do anything and just bought back their son with all the strength and courage he had left. They understood. The Diggorys were an understanding lot. Cedric was blessed to have them as parents. So I decided to change the way I lived. I changed in honor of my lost brother, Cedric Diggory. I bade farewell to him, finally, drawing a closure. I told myself, even if I fancied Harry, I WILL try to avoid this feeling and somehow, try to move on. The foundations of that was wobbling, really, I wasn't totally convinced. I shied away from Neville because... I was still sorry and ashamed for what I did. I avoided Harry. I knew, that was enough for one go, so I sticked with my plan. I can't have this schoolgirl crush go on to the next level. Knowing that he has the eye for Cho Chang.

Before school term began, we were to go and spend the rest of the summer at Sirius' house. I was told that soon enough everyone would be there too. That'd mean Harry's coming. I have to prepare myself. I wouldn't have another of those… awkward times. I've got to stick to the plan. When at last, Harry came to Grimmauld Place; I took a deep breath before entering his and Ron's room. I saw his green eyes again. I almost lost control but I held it. Thank gods for Sirius. All went well.

Sirius and me had been... Shall we say partners in crime? It was like having a new brother again. When I arrived at Grimmauld Place, he said: "Merlin's beard! Another Evans for Potter?" I smiled and blushed at the same time. Mum introduced me at that. And Sirius said "Why, so you are the famous Ginny Weasley! I bet, anytime soon, Harry's gonna go looking for you!" I laughed at that, well, I can dream. But I told myself I would not let this crush grow. So, all Sirius and I did all summer was just trick Kreacher for fun, even though Hermione wouldn't approve of it. I would chuck Dungbombs and he would have Kreacher do the cleaning. It was fun, when I didn't have much to do. Sirius wouldn't allow me to go to the Order's meeting though. He had seen to that when Harry questioned them. I had to shout at him once but well, I apologized and he just laughed at me. He said it was all too much for me and I should just be beside Harry like Ron and Hermione. But I refused. He raised his unnaturally perfect right eyebrow and asked why would I refuse some more time with... Harry? I told him about my plan though and he smiled. I never would've thought I could tell about this to someone, let alone Harry's Godfather. I was at first taken aback. He barked at me with laughter when I admitted it. I blushed and itched for my wand, a Bat-Bogey Hex for Sirius. He wouldn't have it but he said a bet would be fine. From that onwards, we had our little secret, we did bet on it. I bet 15 sickles that Harry and me wouldn't be together. He was against it and said 20 galleons Harry and me are gonna be together before his Seventh Year ended. He was really confident but I just smiled. I didn't linger on my crush thought, Sirius said that to me. What an amazing personality, he sure wanted to loose 20 galleons that much, because like Hermione, he said not to wait and mix with the others. I complied.

So, there was Michael Corner. Mostly, I was flattered that someone admires me so much. Sirius and Hermione, my correspondent were both happy too. But I told him it happened again. And this time much worse. By the time Harry was banned from playing Quidditch, I took his place. I made Gryffindor won. Well, Ron and me actually but, mostly, I made Gryffindor won. Why? I defeated Cho Chang. I caught the snitch first. I was so jubilant that I was happy to finally have an excuse to go to Harry and say it to him... "We Won!"

In fact, I was so excited it drove Michael mad. Ever since that valentine skirmish back at my first year, everyone knew, I just hid it. He knew I fancy Harry. He was mad at me because I wanted to go to Harry and because I made them lose. See, Michael was on the Ravenclaw team too. So, we split up. He never did understood that I really wanted to subdue that... feeling. That feeling I had on Harry Potter.

After that, we had an encounter at the Ministry. I panicked when we left each other's side and the next thing I knew, they told me that... Sirius died. I saw Harry lying at the floor near the Fountain of Brethren. They were bringing us back to Hogwarts. Ron unconscious. Neville was with me sporting a bleeding nose, he still loved me, and I felt it. He kept his hands to me, supporting me. I was in a stretcher, I glanced away from Neville because he was... looking and I felt guilty. I looked at Hermione; she was far from okay... Luna was there too. She told me to be steady. She knew I had feelings for Harry. She also knew that I was torn when Sirius died. I wept. Luna and Neville both took one of my hands and I wept. They were with me. I felt mad at myself for using them for comfort.

I cried myself to sleep. Sirius is gone. It wasn't only Harry who was affected. I lost another brother again. By the name of Sirius Black. I kept myself steady every time I saw Harry. Too many, I thought to myself. But, still, be strong I told myself. My to lost brothers told me to be. My Six brothers told me to be. Even Percy. Anytime, Harry would be in danger again. I would look out for him. And I did. Nobody noticed it however. Which was a good thing. I lost a brother once. Cedric Diggory. I lost a brother for the second time. Sirius Black. I had told to myself before that I wouldn't want Harry or any of my, real or not, brothers to be snatched away from me. That was why I attended the Dumbledore's Army at the first place. All for them. I had used what I had learned at the Ministry. You think I'm proud of what I did. Shame. I wasn't! I was helpless. I wept when I saw Harry lying there, unconscious. I wept when I saw that marks on Ron's neck and limbs. I wept when I saw Neville's blood. I wept when I saw Luna's scabs and scratches. I wept when my best friend, Hermione, lay unconscious, with hints of blue tints on her lips. I wept when I let Sirius die. I wept. I had nothing else to do, move on with my life with these... all of them inside of me. I had to be strong, still. Cedric said to me back at my second year when some third tear Slytherins said I was a disappointment to the heir of Slytherin. Sirius told me to be strong when I doubted that I couldn't when Mum cried over the boggarts. I wanted to be strong and I will.

When the term ended, I went to find Luna and saw her with Harry entering the Great Hall. I was... supposed to be jealous but, that was Luna after all. I held myself, smiled at her as she waved back. She told me... Harry wanted to see his parents, he wanted to see Sirius. I wanted to cry on the spot but... I am stronger than that. I had planned to talk to Harry but I never got the chance. He was often found staring somewhere else. Last time I saw of him before getting on the train was of him strolling back at the castle after a visit with Hagrid. My heart broke again. He was alone. I sensed his loneliness as if he had been trapped somewhere else. I really wanted to be beside Harry, share his pain. Take a part of it because I never wanted him to be in that state.

So, when I had the chance to be with them at the train back home, Hermione and Ron mentioned Michael. Great. Eventually I informed them that we split and I told them almost all of the reason why. Hermione raised her eyebrows at that one while Ron kept on looking smug all about it. Ha! If it wasn't because you were injured! I looked at Harry. Cho had just passed by before we talked about Michael. It hurt, still. He was supposed to be grieving and Cho just happened to pass by. I knew from Hermione the incident at Hogsmeade and wouldn't hear of it again. I have always wondered how come Cedric had loved her. Ah, sweet love, made people blind. But, have it made me? Hermione and Ron looked at me. They caught me staring at Harry. Ron said, "Well, I always thought he was a bit of an idiot.." I smiled. Yep, Ron is right. "Good for you. Just choose someone--better--next time." I knew he implied Harry. Both Hermione and Ron smiled, Harry however, was occupied with his and Ron's chess game, or might've been... thinking of Sirius again. I wondered... I remembered the conversation Harry and me had. Did he tell Hermione and Ron about it? Because I could see it in their eyes that something was up. I sighed silently. I said; "Well, I've chosen Dean Thomas, would you say he's better?" Yep, that'd do the trick.

Ron had been wild, for he lack of better words. Harry was, however, silent as a grave. I frowned. It wasn't the same Harry that I knew. It was more... silent than before. I felt... helpless again. Harry was dying on the inside. I lost Cedric to Voldemort. He lost his parents to Voldemort. I lost Sirius to Bellatrix Lestrange. He lost Sirius to Bellatrix Lestrange. I lost two Brothers. He lost Parents.

It wasn't a very good term for both of us.

**My Fifth Year, His Sixth Year. **

Dumbledore Died.

And Sirius was right, Harry and me got together.

How did it happen? Gryffindor won the Cup again. I made the Gryffindor won again. I won against Cho. My ex-boyfriend was Dean Thomas. A very long story. A long winding way with O.W.L.s around my neck. Thanks heavens for Hermione, she kept Harry and me at bay. Now, how did all of these things happen?

All of them gone in a blur. Why? Harry kissed me. I repeat, he kissed me. Ron was screaming, "We Won!" and I came running to him the next I knew, he was kissing me. My heart flipped. Six times. I was out of breath when we broke out of the kiss. I still had my eyes closed. What had happened? When? I heard a breaking glass and I knew who it was. Dean. We broke off because he knew something. Now I knew what he knew. Harry belongs to me. All these times... I glanced at Ron. He approves. I was happy. I smiled at Harry. Nothing mattered. He grinned down on me and gestured wordlessly out of the portrait hole. I smile widened. I took his offered hand and out we went. We talked of so many things. I laughed every time he scoffs at Professor Snape, he smiles when I... told him about my crush never really gone. He was there; he had his arms around me. We sat down at the Old Oak tree near the lake. My back to his chest. It was a good feeling. I felt belonged. I felt happy. We talked about what had happened at the match and he said, "I knew you could do it." I looked up at him. He looked down at me. We smiled at each other. Another kiss. Sweet yet longing, hungry. My mind was gone at that time, all that matter was I'm with Harry. Ah, what sweet bliss. I felt dizzy after a while, I couldn't breathe. So, we broke off.

He grinned boyishly at me and said, "You know, I might get used to this. I'm sure you are."

I frowned. "What? Now..."

He held his hands. He smiled at me again and I took the chance to be drowned by those emerald eyes… "Never mind Dean. Never mind anything at all. Mind US." I laughed. I always knew he was like that. So Cheesy.

I really should thank Hermione for everything really. Every girl needs a best friend like Hermione Granger. Always knows what to do. Look who she got, Viktor Krum. But well, she's very wise. Let me tell you. Too wise that she chose Ronald Weasley, my brother. Happy isn't it?

Until Dumbledore died.

I sat there beside Harry. He had closed his eyes. He thought it was his fault again that this has happened. I should told him it isn't but... how?

I glance around... Ron's face was screwed up as though the sun was too irritating for his taste. Hermione's face was glazed with tears. I didn't cry though. I couldn't I got to be strong. Not only for Cedric and Sirius. For everyone. For Ron, for Hermione... I glanced at Remus and Tonks, for a moment I almost smiled; I knew they would be together. I glanced back up to Harry. For Harry, I had to be strong. That enough is reason. I knew what was to come. I knew and it broke my heart. But I couldn't do anything.

"Ginny, listen..." I heard his voice... It was so... quiet. "I can't be involved with you anymore." My heart stopped. But I listened. It's what Harry said. I listened. "We've got to stop seeing each other. We can't be together."

I told Sirius this would be happening. I guess I'd take my 15 sickles back and then have Fred and George give me 20 galleons. Tell them Sirius said so. Wait, what am I thinking? I smiled at Harry, and felt as though... "It's for some stupid, noble reason, isn't it?" I couldn't say "Be careful," or "Don't do it," it was like making him no himself. Not Harry.

"It's been like... like something out of someone else's life, these past few weeks with you," It was almost a whisper. My heart beat once more, thumped louder and harder. I felt it beginning to tear apart. But, it was the right thing to do. "But I can't... we can't... I've got things to do alone now." I knew it. I gazed once more into those green eyes. I would miss them. "Voldemort uses people his enemies are close to. He's already used you as bait once, and that was just because you're my best friend's sister." Ah, I remember that. My knight in shinning armor. "Think how much danger you'll be in if we keep this up. He'll know. He'll find out. He'll try and get to me through you." I didn't cry now. I felt angry. I don't care about that at all. I knew we 're on war now. I already knew that. As if I wasn't in danger at the first place. I knew he loved me too much but... let go?

"What if I don't care?" I was too expressive in that one. But I didn't care. What I would givethe world just to remain sight of those green eyes...

"I care." He said softly. My heart shattered into billions and billions of pieces. He uses that voice every time he murmurs... 'I love you'... But now... "How do you think I'd feel if this was your funeral... and it was my fault..." I couldn't help it. I felt my tears beginning to go back up. I HAVE to keep strong. I waited for Harry to continue but he didn't. I looked away, avoiding that sob escape from my lips. Those lips that held Harry's. I took a deep breath and spoke. It's time.

"I never really gave up on you." I looked back up to his eyes, I'll miss it. "Not really... I always hoped... Hermione told me to get on with life, maybe go out with some people, relax a bit around you, because I never used to be able to talk if you were in the room, remember? And she thought you might take a bit more notice if I was a bit more--myself." I didn't mention Cedic, or Sirius. Too much death. With Dumbledore's right now... I closed my eyes suddenly but made it open again as though frightened that I might lose the green ones.

"Smart girl, that Hermione," Harry smiled at me. A pained smile. I... can't take that. My heart already shattered to billions continued to be shattered. "I just wished I'd asked you sooner. We could've had ages... months... years maybe..." I wished it too. I wished it. But too many things happened before those... Too many.

"But you've been too busy saving the Wizarding world," I almost laughed at that, as if it was so obvious. "Well... I can't say I'm surprised. I knew this would happen in the end." I always did. Since the day I met the Boy-Who-Lived. "I knew you wouldn't be happy unless you were hunting Voldemort. Maybe that's why I like you so much."

Yes, that is why she can't erase that crush she had before. It was because he was Harry. Just Harry.

We didn't continue to talk after that. He can't take it anymore, so did I. He looked at Ron, I see he was now holding Hermione and stroking her hair while she sobbed to my brother's shoulder. Ron was crying too. It didn't take long. Harry stood up.

"Harry... I will always love you for who you are." I whispered. The softest, mildest, gentlest, saddest breeze carried the words. I was hoping Harry could hear it, somehow that might change his mind. But he didn't hear it.

Good thing. Because. If he did. He won't be the Noble Harry I once had a crush on. The one little Ginny hero-worshipped and fancied. And now Ginevra's Man. Ginny's Love. Ginny's Savior.

**So... the end of his Sixth Year, my Fifth Year... **

I was stealing glances from him again. Back to the usual thing.

I have always known before that his heart belonged to another person. And here I am, after all these times... The times we've shared... Every now and then stealing a glimpse, wondering, when will I finally get over him? When? So many things had happened that I felt so frustrated with it all. After all these times... I can't just... let him go.

But I would eventually be used to it. The endless cycle. I go up in the morning heading to the Great Hall. I would see the three of them talking. I would steal a glance only be disappointed that he'd be looking somewhere else. I sighed in defeat again. After all, he is the Boy-Who-Lived...

The Wizarding World's only Hope.

But to me he's just Harry.

**Little Ginny's Crush: Harry Potter.**

**Author's Note:** I keep telling myself that I've got to stop this... thing I feel. Yes, Ginny and I have the same predicament. Although hers was more tragic that mine. Feel free to flame me. I blame myself for writing such a dramatic thing. Haha. I hope everyone enjoys this. But remember, J.K. Rowling, the high and mighty, is the only one that owns Harry Potter.


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